1. Do tons of cardio.
2. Stay away from weights. They’re heavy, and they might make you look silly while lifting them. (That is, unless you’re staring at yourself in the mirror.)
3. Don’t get enough sleep—in fact stay up really late sitting at your computer as often as possible.
4. Play hopscotch with your workouts; Jump around between random boot camp classes and whatever else sounds good at the moment, and never stick to one program.
5. Surround yourself with negative or emotionally draining people and people who encourage you to do things like get “just one more drink” or skip your workout “just this once.”
6. Avoid drinking enough water. Replace it with coffee or carbonated beverages…or worse, alcohol.
7. Never set any concrete goals. Things like “lose some weight” or “be more toned” should do the trick.
8. Practice self-defeating behaviors, like constantly reminding yourself that you’re not good enough, and that you don’t deserve to feel good. Assign labels and limits to yourself, and never change them.
9. Consider anything that comes in a bag, box, or out of a vending machine fair game when you’re really hungry.
10. Sit at a desk all day. In fact, don’t get up and move much, and definitely never stretch.
11. Always have an excuse ready for why you’re not doing any of the things you know you should do to feel better